Two hungover guys were discussing the Christmas party the night before:

Bob: "[censored], I've never been that [censored] up before"

Bill: "Yeah you were pretty messed up but it happens to the best of us"

Bob: "Not this bad..I got home last night and blew chunks..I'm so ashamed!"

Bill: "So you puked?.its no biggie, hell, I puked last night too!"

Bob "No, you don't understand...Chunks is my dog"


Q: How do you get 2 dead babies into a shoe box?
A: A blender.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Doritos!!

**The worst thing about having sex with a 12 year old girl?

getting blood on your clown suit

Girlfriend told me she thought I was a pedophile!...



I said.....





thats a pretty big word coming from a six year old.


My grandfather died in a concentration camp...

He got drunk and fell out of the guard tower.



What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable...








wait for it....







getting her back into her wheelchair


What's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew? The black Jews sit in the BACK of the oven...


How do you make a dead baby float?









2 scoops ice cream, 1 scoop dead baby.